“Have mercy, been waitin’ for the bus all day.”
I’m in a bit of a mood for some blues today. This month of October was my second time to participate in the Living Donor Paired Exchange (LDPE) program, where a database of incompatible kidney donor-recipient pairs is collected from across Canada in order to find as many matches as possible. Unfortunately, I was again left without a match after the program was run, left still “waitin’ for the (transplant) bus,” as it were.
With two potential incompatible donors on my side, the transplant unit coordinator here in London was confident that a match would be found this time. At this point, all she or I know is that there was no match. She is going to inquire a little further to find out more about why we are striking out. I don’t know that such knowledge will make a huge difference to the next program run in February, but knowledge does provide some solace.
Yes, I’m disappointed, but I began to realize at a more “existential” level last time that it could be years before I get a transplant, even with the wonderful services of the LDPE program. Even with the disappointment, though, I am grateful for my situation. I have reasonably good health otherwise; I have good medical care, which includes the option of peritoneal dialysis; I have my financial needs met; I have a supportive family and community of friends. In many respects, I am blessed.
Not to get overly philosophical here, but one thing that chronic kidney disease reminds me of is that I am not autonomous, I am not independent. I depend on so very many people, from those as near as my family to the medical researcher on the other side of the world who may be discovering a breakthrough in organ transplantation as we speak, and many others in between. Again, I am blessed, and I am grateful.
Grace and peace…